i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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