WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
