Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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