I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
