She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
