but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
