The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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