I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
