Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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