We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Randomize
