i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
