how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
did i just pee glitter
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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