I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
