i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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