your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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