i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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