SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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