but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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