She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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