i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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