i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
