i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
