She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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