in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
