And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
