a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The power of my boobs compel you
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
