I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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