So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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