I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
