Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
