Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
