Will you blow on my dice?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
