I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
