let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
