Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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