Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
