I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
