Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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