u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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