Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
