Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
