butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
