you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
do herpes really smell.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
