nut hugger
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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