And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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