I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Green mimosas i think yes
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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