North Korea, Best Korea!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
