Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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