so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
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