you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
what is it with giant penises always finding me
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
