I'm gonna have a badass scar
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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