maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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