We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
