sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
